How to Deal with Mom Burnout | BC Online Therapy

Jun 16

Online therapy for moms navigating every stage of motherhood, focusing on mom burnout, mom rage, and mom guilt. Motherhood is hard, finding the support you need shouldn’t be.

Being a mother is often described simultaneously as the most fulfilling and the most challenging role in a woman’s life. The weight of constantly balancing caregiving, household responsibilities, personal needs, and a career leaves many parents feeling exhausted, stressed, and even disconnected from their own identity. This feeling of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion is commonly referred to as mom burnout.

At Vitality Collective, our team of therapists work with women and their partners in all phases of parenthood—fertility, pregnancy, postpartum, all the way through to transitioning to empty nesters. Our counsellors understand how exhausting it can be to feel pulled in a hundred different directions as a parent, whatever stage you may be in, as many of them have experienced it firsthand themselves.

Remember, it’s okay to not be okay and you do not need to navigate motherhood alone. Together, we can address mom burnout, mom rage, mom guilt, and discover coping mechanisms for the ongoing, invisible work of being a mother.

What is mom burnout?

Mom burnout is a state of chronic physical and emotional exhaustion that results from the pressures of motherhood. It often goes beyond simply feeling tired—it's a deep sense of being emotionally drained and disconnected. While it's normal for mothers to feel tired at times, mom burnout is different. It manifests as feelings of helplessness, irritability, guilt, and a loss of joy in parenting.

Symptoms can include chronic fatigue, regardless of how much rest you get, irritability and anger towards your children, often referred to as "mom rage," and a sense of overwhelming responsibility that makes daily tasks feel impossible. Many mothers experience mom guilt, constantly questioning whether they are doing enough or doing things the "right way." Emotional dysregulation is another common experience—where managing your emotions and reactions to stress feels incredibly difficult. Some mothers also experience a sense of disconnection from their children, partners, and even themselves, feeling as though they are simply going through the motions of life without real emotional engagement.

Related Reading: Matrescence: A New Mother’s Journey

Why does mom burnout happen?

The causes of mom burnout are varied and often stem from a combination of personal, social, and systemic factors. It’s not just about the demands of being a mother—it’s about the pressures society places on mothers and the unrealistic expectations that come with them. The burden of responsibility often falls heavily on mothers, with expectations to be the caretaker, housekeeper, partner, and provider (invisible labour). This level of responsibility, especially when not shared equally, can leave mothers feeling emotionally and physically depleted.

Related Reating: The Cost of Emotional Labour

The pressure to meet all of these demands, without enough time for self-care (let alone a shower), can lead to feelings of frustration, exhaustion, and inadequacy. Many mothers also lack sufficient emotional and practical support. This is particularly true for those who don’t have the regular support they need, either from family, friends or hired support. The sense of "doing it alone" can deepen the feelings of burnout.

In addition, sleep deprivation and the physical strain of caring for young children often take a toll on mothers. The early years of parenting often involve interrupted sleep, constant caregiving, and physical exhaustion, leading to a combination of burnout and emotional fatigue. Another contributor is mom guilt—the constant pressure to be perfect. Mothers often feel they need to be constantly loving, patient, and balanced. This can lead to stress, overwhelm, and burnout when they inevitably fall short of these idealized expectations.

How can therapy help with mom burnout?

Therapy for moms (particularly online therapy due to its flexibility) offers a safe and supportive space to address the complex emotions and stressors associated with mom burnout. Through therapy, moms can gain insight, develop coping strategies, and rebuild their emotional well-being. One of the key benefits of therapy is that it can help mothers develop effective emotional regulation techniques. Mom rage or moments of overwhelming anger are common when stress and exhaustion build up. In therapy, moms can explore the root causes of this anger and learn healthier ways to express their emotions and cope with frustration.

Therapy also offers the chance to address mom guilt. Many mothers experience guilt for not being “good enough” or for not living up to the image of the perfect parent. In therapy, you can explore the underlying causes of this guilt and work on letting go of unrealistic expectations, learning to be kinder to yourself. Therapy in Greater Vancouver or online provides a space to challenge these negative thought patterns and replace them with more compassionate and realistic perspectives.

Moreover, therapy helps with stress reduction. Mothers often feel overwhelmed by the sheer number of demands placed on them. Therapy provides tools like mindfulness, relaxation, and grounding techniques that help reduce the chronic stress that contributes to burnout. Our therapists can also offer strategies for managing day-to-day tasks without feeling like you're drowning in responsibilities.

If you find yourself struggling with your child’s behaviour or feeling disconnected from them, therapy can also help you better understand your child’s needs and improve your communication. This can reduce frustration and help you build a deeper, more positive connection. For those in co-parenting relationships, therapy can provide tools for better communication and shared responsibilities. Navigating the challenges of parenting as a team can alleviate feelings of isolation and reduce stress.

Do I need therapy for mom burnout?

It can be difficult to know when to seek therapy for mom burnout. While burnout is common, there are certain signs that may indicate it’s time to reach out for support. If you’re feeling chronically overwhelmed, unable to manage everyday tasks, or if your irritability and anger are becoming unmanageable, it may be time to consider therapy to specifically address your journey as a mom. If you’re withdrawing from your support network or feeling isolated, or if you’re struggling with fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest, it may be time to seek help. Emotional struggles, such as difficulty coping with the demands of motherhood, are another sign that therapy could be beneficial. And if your relationship with your child or partner is suffering due to stress, therapy can help you work through these issues and rebuild the emotional connection that may feel strained.

What are common signs of mom burnout?

Feeling extremely tired, mentally or physically
Getting irritated or angry more easily than usual
Feeling emotionally empty or worn out
Feeling distant or disconnected from others, even your kids
Feeling guilty about how you act, think, or how much time you spend with your children
Feeling like you're not a good enough parent
Worrying too much or always thinking about what’s next
Having strong mood swings or outbursts of anger (sometimes called “mom rage”)
Questioning your decision to become a parent
Daydreaming about escaping or starting over
Feeling like you can’t keep up at home or at work
Thinking your kids would be better off with someone else
Feeling distant from your partner or co-parent
Struggling to show warmth or emotion
Feeling too tired to reach out to friends or support systems
Finding it hard to ask for help or say what you need

What can I expect from therapy for moms?

When you begin therapy for mom burnout, the process will start with understanding your unique situation. Your therapist will listen to your concerns, validate your feelings, and collaborate with you to find strategies that work for your life. Your therapist will help you challenge negative thought patterns and replace them with healthier perspectives that reduce stress and promote your emotional well-being.

In addition, mindfulness-based techniques may be helpful to incorporate to help you stay grounded and reduce feelings of overwhelm. These techniques will help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to manage them more effectively. If needed, family therapy or parent-child therapy can be part of the process. This can help you improve communication and strengthen the bond with your children, leading to a healthier and more supportive relationship.

Solution-focused techniques may also be incredibly helpful in managing day-to-day stress and developing practical steps for managing burnout. These strategies will empower you to take action, whether it’s setting boundaries, learning to delegate responsibilities, or finding moments of self-care.

While we use many kinds of therapy modalities at Vitality Collective, your therapist will work with you to create a customized treatment plan that meets your needs in just the right way.

Virtual Therapy for BC Moms | Vancouver, Surrey & Chilliwack Counsellors

Motherhood is complex and mom burnout is real. You might be wondering how you could possibly add therapy to your already too-long to-do list. That’s why, at Vitality Collective, we’ve made it easy: with secure online therapy and simple booking, you can access support from the comfort of your own home. It doesn’t matter if you show up in pajamas, covered in spit-up, with a baby in your arms—what matters is that you showed up. A mom’s mental health deeply impacts her relationships, family life, and her child’s sense of happiness. You deserve to take an hour for yourself, and our counsellors will do everything we can to make sure it’s an hour that feels truly worth it.

At Vitality Collective, our virtual BC therapists meet moms where they are—offering support at every stage of the motherhood journey. Motherhood is hard, finding the support you need shouldn’t be. To get started, please fill out our New Client Intake Form.

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